BUSH = SHRUB?

_{Reported by: SiLK.
Written by: Ki.}

Crisps
Once again, our attentive, and possibly only reader, SiLK of the Dream Emporium, has slipped us some interesting and thought provoking material. President Bush appears to have us all under a veil of deception, for he may not be a bush at all! He may be... a SHRUB. This may be shocking and distressing news to some, so I took it upon myself to secure a time and location, and set out to meet SiLK in person, to gleam further information on this potentially world-stopping revelation.

Sitting in the local eatery, we discussed the story over a packet of salt and vinegar crisps. When asked how she come to be in possession of this information, SiLK, whilst straightening her overly frilly and highly intricate ball-gown, had the following to say: "A little Flicky told me. It's a tale of excitement, adventure, romance! And betrayal . . . . and then I put the comic down and snuck into the White House"

Trusted
I watched her reactions closely. Clearly, she had not been making this up. With an impatient twitch of her little wings, I realised she was waiting for my response. There was only one question burning in my mind at this point in time, and it was the one everyone was going to want to know. So, rather than beating around the bush ( groans ), I dove in fearlessly and asked what she believed his intentions were. Why this scandalous cover-up? What WAS this shrub planning?

SiLK, after a brief laugh, straightened her gown once again, for it didn't agree with the cheap seats of this eatery, and fixed upon me a look of serious intent. When she spoke, there was naught but a straight face: "Well clearly, nobody trusts shrubs. I say shrub, what do you think of? Little sickly things, bare branches? No, if you want to be trusted, you can't be a shrub. That's a funny word if you say it often enough. Shrub Shrub Shrub! Shrub a dubdub!"

Greenery
Complimenting SiLK on her interesting and stunning information, not to mention her skill at doing the shrub a dubdub boogie whilst seated, I soldiered on and asked how we should prepare for this possible shrubby deciet. She said the following: "Citizens, weed your gardens regularly, and keep a close eye on your hedges, bushes, and bonsai trees! There just might be a shrub lurking where you least expect it!"

Heed these words well, fellow readers... um... reader. We at GC's News agree full-heartedly, and implore you to keep an eye on your greenery at all times. There could be shrubs lurking everywhere, and had it not been for SiLK, we may never have known untill it was too late.

Muffins
It was at this point that I was kicked out of the eatery, as I apparently hadn't payed for a chocolate muffin. This was a scandalous accusation, and I will not rest untill my name has been cleared. I don't even eat muffins, unlike our usual on-site investigator.

Regardless, should any further information on this breaking story come to our attention at GC's News, we will be sure to let you know.

Untill then, this is Ki signing off.

...

Wait a minute... *eyeballs Salem*